My Thursday nights are about to become a lot more boring. I have been a member of The Acorn since my very first semester of college in 2021. This makes me the longest-running staff member we currently have. I am the only one left from the days when our office was in the back of the Ehinger Center, when we had almost no one on the editorial board and even fewer writers. Writers barely ever entered the office—they were recruited by section editors over email. My job as copyeditor was simple—go in, copyedit every article (the copyediting team consisted of the copy desk chief and me), and leave.
That period of The Acorn was a lot less community-focused, but I had never felt more welcomed despite this. That group was my first club at Drew, and most importantly, they were the people who fostered this column. In February 2022, I was asked to write a quick opinion piece to pad the opinions section, and when it went over well, I continued it as a regular feature. (While this level of production has become impossible as an upperclassman, I used to churn out an article every single week.) Nicole Sydor (C’24, G’26), our opinions editor at the time, was the one who suggested I do a regular column and named it Ollie’s Opinions. It is in large part due to her that this has been a part of my life for more than three years, and for that I can never thank her enough.
I thought that since this is my final opinions article, it should encompass everything I have ever had strong feelings about—and what better way to do that than to review everything I’ve ever had an opinion about in this column? So today I present you with Ollie’s Opinions: Everything.
My very first article, published Feb. 22, 2022, was about the candy Circus Peanuts. That opinion was completely correct—as I said, “They look like toes.” Other food opinions that I have had include American cheese (still disturbing), cottage cheese (still looks like “some sort of wound secretion”), seltzer (still infuriating), soup (still too surprising) and trail mix (still “M&Ms with obstacles”). I’m beginning to suspect I just don’t like food.
One of my most covered subjects is Drew University itself. The Commons has the dubious honor of starring in three articles. The first, written in March 2022, was inspired by the Commons starting to play music. They have not taken my advice to put the music in the trash, and for that I will never forgive them. Another issue that came up was students leaving dirty dishes and trash at tables, a problem that I have thankfully seen much less of recently. I’ve also had a much easier time finding spoons, so either they listened to me and bought more or people stopped eating them.
Another subject on campus I still feel strongly about is smoking. While smoking may seem like a personal decision, doing it in shared areas makes a choice for anyone else who spends time there. While this may make me “not cool,” I just don’t think it’s fair to give me lung cancer against my will. Other harmful activities on campus include, as the weather gets warmer, the onslaught of speeding cyclists. Drew is still a “lawless wasteland” when it comes to any bike regulations, so I warn you all to be on the lookout. And while chalkboards may not seem harmful, my ears beg to differ. The main reason I’m excited about graduation is that I will finally escape the “terrible shrieking sounds” and “giant dust smears on my pants.”
One of my most recent articles, while it is not Drew-focused, does reference a problem found all over campus. The ability to pee whenever I want is one that may never be solved, especially under a presidential administration whose main goal is for me to disappear entirely. (Don’t worry, I’m not a criminal, just trans. Although those are sort of becoming synonymous.)
My other articles are largely unrelated to each other. By far my most popular article covers my hatred of horses. This article spread as far as a marine biology student in Australia, who emailed me about how much she and her friends enjoyed it. I guess horses can’t be all bad if they can transcend the boundaries of continents. I have covered one other animal—the humble anteater. After learning about these noble creatures, I have come to realize that we have more in common than I thought, and I am proud to call anteaters my friends. Actually, while some may object to this categorization, I’ll also put babies in the animals category. As I said in the past, “babies cause global warming,” and I will not be argued with on that point.
This is getting very long, so here’s a fast overview of my remaining articles: chartreuse is still the color of the devil. Monopoly is still “about as thrilling as watching a TV that isn’t on.” The English language is still a necessary evil with too many vowels. Airplanes are still sinister and evil creatures. Turtlenecks are still “strangulation death traps.” Clutch handbags are still super dumb. The beach is still hell on Earth. Massachusetts is still the best state of all time and I will never admit otherwise. And bassoons, while still looking very silly, are something I’ve honestly come to appreciate.
My opinion on The Drew Acorn has, of course, not changed. This is a place that I am proud to have spent my entire college experience. While everyone I mentioned in the original article has graduated, the sentiment remains the same. As I said at the end of the article, “We’re inevitable.” The Acorn will be around forever, whether or not it actually exists, because I will always be carrying it around in my brain. To my fellow staff—you’ll do great. Just keep on doing what you’re doing and we’ll stay a success. And I can condone that kind of behavior.
Ollie Arnold is a senior majoring in mathematics and double minoring in computer science and missing you all very much.
