Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably noticed some recent changes at The Commons. Most of the updates are good: the crepes, for example, are currently the only thing keeping me going day to day. However, there has also been one change that, while it may seem relatively minor, has made me crabby beyond belief.
The Commons plays music now. I am not happy about it. This week, I’ll be providing you with some reasons why this change is neither fun nor fresh, as well as hopefully convincing whoever started doing this to stop torturing me.
We’ll start with my main gripe,which is perhaps a bit specific, but I don’t care: I can’t hear anyone anymore. Not that I could in the first place, but the music is making it 10 -12 times harder for me to hold up my end in conversations. As a student with auditory processing issues, it is very difficult for me to filter out background noise in favor of a conversation. I imagine others must feel the same. Commons already has enough sound – the last thing we need is more stimulation.
On Tuesday, I arrived at Commons at 9 a.m. They were playing dance music. AT NINE IN THE MORNING. Exactly zero people are fully awake at 9 a.m. and you want us to dance? I’ll take “Things That Will Never Happen for $500,” Alex. According to Healthline, sleep inertia – the proper name for the groggy, disoriented feeling upon waking up- generally lasts for about 30 minutes after waking up, and it may take up to a full hour to feel completely recovered. I don’t think I’ve seen a more depressing sight than 40 college students falling asleep into their coffee to the sound of “Party Rock Anthem,” and I like “Party Rock Anthem.”
If I wanted to listen to music that I don’t like, I would stay in my room and listen to my next-door neighbor’s terrible bass-boosted rap. The bass makes my bones melt, but at least I don’t have to walk anywhere.
What I find the most unpleasant about the entire experience is that on five separate occasions, I have heard advertisements. I assume that the music is being streamed from Spotify, and while I don’t expect Drew to shell out for Premium, it seems off somehow to play ads in a community space. This is supported by the fact that cities such as São Paulo, Brazil and Grenoble, France have been removing public advertisements such as billboards over the past 15 years. This is because advertising has become perceived as increasingly more intrusive over the years, according to Sudbury News. People have the right to eat lunch without speakers trying to sell them something. I do not want wireless earbuds and if Kanye West’s new album crosses my radar ever again, I will fling myself into the Great Salt Lake.
While I understand the desire for ambience, the music in Commons does absolutely nothing except make me sad. I urge whoever had this idea to reconsider, because as the only man of importance ever (and someone with no ability to filter out background noise), I can’t condone this kind of behavior.
Have more complaints for me? Email firstname.lastname@example.org for a chance to have your least favorite things featured, or just to commiserate.