Ollie’s Opinions: This Article is Not Dairy-Free

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Since this is our last issue for the semester, I obviously had no ideas, so I turned to my lovely friends for assistance. I received the suggestions “Almond extract” from Ani Rosenthal, “The ethics of Dr. Phil” from Michael Indovina  and “the British” from Avery Burnap (all ‘25). I will not be discussing any of these things because that’s just how I roll. Instead, I’m going to do what I swore I never would. I’m going to get sappy. This semester, I’ve talked a lot about things I hate. Today I think it’s finally time to talk about something I love. 

Welcome to Ollie’s Opinions: The Drew Acorn. 

Courtesy of The Drew Acorn.

I may be cynical and full of hatred, but I’m going to feel at least one emotion with the release of our final issue this year. When I started my tenure at The Acorn, I was a terrified little first-year who just wanted to correct people’s grammar. I reach the end of this school year as a slightly less terrified (but equally little) almost-sophomore who still loves pointing out grammatical mistakes, but has a newfound love for making people laugh and the art of AP style.

I joined the staff of the Acorn mostly on a whim. I saw there was an opening for a copyeditor and thought, “Well, I sure do love pointing out mistakes.” So I signed up to be a professional grammar snob. As it turns out, I may have come for the copyediting, but I’ve stayed for the people (and the copyediting —I really love judging people’s word choices). And what a group of people we are! 

(We’ve reached the part of the paper where I give everyone a very cheesy thank you. Individually, because I’m a chronic overachiever sometimes.)

Obviously I have to start with my co-Editors-in-Chief. Keven, thank you for being incredibly welcoming and for getting my keycard to work on the office door (it only took you three months!), and Olivia, thank you for answering my thousands of questions about what I could put in my articles, even though the answer was usually no. The Acorn will miss you guys next year, but don’t worry — we’ve got it under control.

Jamie, thank you for always leaving comments on my articles during editing. Seeing that I made you laugh always made me feel proud of my work.

Mary, you impress me so much. As a person with no understanding of sports, the fact that you can keep all the stats straight amazes me.

Elizabeth, without you, the paper would be a barren wasteland of stock photos. Thanks for keeping us interesting.

Kelly, thank you for teaching me how to be a copyeditor. I hope that once you graduate I can be half the grammar fiend you are.

Lauren and Angelia, I’m always happy to edit your articles. We’re lucky to have both of you on staff.

Emma and Emily, you may have arrived late to the party but you are so very welcome. I am looking forward to our first full year together!

And of course, last but not least, Nicole. This column was your idea and I’m so grateful. I didn’t know I wanted an audience until you gave me one. Thank you so much. You’ve also been a great partner-in-crime to make fun of Keven with (Sorry, Keven). Congratulations on being our new Editor-in-Chief. You’ll be great!

I hope none of you are lactose intolerant, because boy, was that cheesy. But don’t worry- I still hate plenty of things. Like the fact that this is our last issue until next year, and so many of my coworkers are graduating. And fruit-at-the-bottom yogurt. I hate fruit-at-the-bottom yogurt. But we’ll be back. In fact, there’s no escape. We’re inevitable.

The Drew Acorn is one of the most welcoming, hard-working, nicest groups I’ve ever met. And if you don’t like us, be it because you think our image aspect ratios are off or because you just don’t read our hard work, I’m (not) sorry to say that I can’t condone that kind of behavior.

olliearnold

they/he/ze
I am incredibly poggers :]

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