Hi there! My name is Carl Mustard. Are you a gay squirrel looking for a new squirrband? Well, you are in luck because I am available and looking for a new relationship. …
We live in The Forest. What are you doing if you’re not at least attempting to climb trees? As spring rolls around, I’ve been testing the trees on campus and dictating which…
Those devastated over the lack of a pool on Brothers College need to cry no longer: starting this Saturday, the Brothers College roof will be offering a state-of-the-art Olympic-sized swimming pool. It…
Drew University has long used the face of the squirrel for advertising and promoting the name of the school. The long fight to designate the squirrel as Drew’s mascot has gained no…
Nicole Sydor (‘25), editor-in-chief of The Drew Acorn, is not the worst person in the world. She always avoids not being the best person I know. In my humble opinion, she is…
A new technology has corrupted Drew University, with catastrophic repercussions for students, professors and the university’s national reputation. ScienceGPT, an AI tool designed to help students cheat their way through science classes,…
Ex-husband squirrels are the worst. I am not sure why I married this squirrel. He is a no-good lying son of an owl. I, Hercules Axel, have compiled a list of reasons…
Drew University’s squirrels held their bi-annual Equinox Games last Monday, March 20, in celebration of the arrival of spring. The Equinox Games are perhaps the most highly anticipated event of the equinox…
On this wonderful website, filled with pointless photos and other useless information, some of The Drew Acron Staff would like to commemorate a very important person: Fergus. Fergus is the light post…