In a surprising and unprecedented move, Drew University’s Department of Business has announced a complete overhaul of its curriculum, introducing a new foundational approach that merges artistic expression with corporate strategy.
Effective this coming fall semester, the department will launch BST 101: Introduction to Coloring, a new mandatory course designed to revolutionize the way students prepare for the corporate world.
This transformation introduces a new specialization within the major: Business with a Concentration in Coloring. Alongside existing fields like finance and international business, students can now explore the strategic applications of color theory, shading precision and the financial implications of art-based decision-making in corporate settings.
In a move no one saw coming, the department has named international soccer superstar Lionel Messi as its new chair, while Michelangelo—somehow returning to life after centuries—will serve as the course’s lead instructor.
“Coloring has been an essential part of my pre-game routine for years,” said Messi. “When I was at Barcelona, we used coloring exercises before every match to boost creativity. This curriculum will shape the future leaders of business and soccer.”
Michelangelo, who has reportedly adapted quickly to modern teaching methods, emphasized the rigor of the course.
“Coloring is not just a leisure activity. It requires precision, patience and a deep understanding of shaping dynamics. I expect only the best from my students,” said Michelangelo.
As part of this shift, the department has introduced several new courses designed to reinforce this innovative educational model. BST 210: Finger Painting for Finance is a course which explores abstract expressionism as a tool for financial forecasting.
The new curriculum culminates in BST 426: The Coloring Capstone, which involves a comprehensive project of developing a market-ready and high-value coloring book.
Additionally, a state-of-the-art Crayon Financial Analytics Lab will be established in Brothers College, offering students hands-on experience with the economic implications of color selection, from budgeting for premium colored pencils to analyzing the impact of limited-edition crayon releases.
As a result, the existing Bloomberg Room will be demolished to make space for the lab, a decision that has left finance students speechless and clutching their calculators.
Reactions from the student body have been mixed. While some students embrace the creative shift, others have raised questions about its relevance to traditional business studies.
“I just don’t understand how this helps my business degree,” said Cristiano Ronaldo (‘30). “But if Messi says it’s important, I guess I’ll enroll.”
The radical shift from the department appears to be paying off, as this year is shaping to be a record year for enrollment at Drew. 95% of incoming students will be declaring Business with a Concentration in Coloring as their major.
“I was super worried about taking hard and difficult business classes, but now, I just need a fresh box of crayons,” said Benjamin Franklin (‘76).
With this revolutionary shift, the Department of Business aims to redefine business education one crayon stroke at a time. For further questions and inquiries, please reach out to Assistant Department Chair Giannis Antetokounmpo (C’98 G’99 T’00).
The Talking Frog in McLendon is a senior(?) majoring in business with a concentration in Coloring and minoring in environmental studies, finance and equestrian studies.
