As a professional cynic, I disagree with plenty of things that others find “fun.” Examples include: hip-hop music, fruit-at-the-bottom yogurt, guacamole, any sport with a ball and the works of Ray Bradbury.…
Some things should just be illegal. Fruit-at-the-bottom yogurt. Kraft Singles. Pens that don’t click. But the thing I want banned the most is the one thing I can never conceivably eliminate. I…
You may not believe it, since I’m such a big strong man now, but I was a little girl once. As a little girl, I went through all of the standard phases:…
Public service announcement: the Commons has a machine for you to put your dirty dishes in. When you are done eating, that is where your dishes go. This may seem unworthy of…
This may come as a shock, but this week, rather than share my complaints on a subject, I’d like to argue in favor of an opinion of my own. Fear not, dear…
If I were to ask a group of people which musical instrument they hate the most, I have a pretty good idea what the answers would be. Many would probably say the…
Every day, my outfit must abide by a set of very important rules. There must be no mid-length sleeves, no long pants without socks and absolutely no velvet. The most important rule…
Every year I await the day when my favorite season finally arrives. Unfortunately, as a New Englander, I’m only allowed to experience it for three days per year. Every year is a…
If there is one animal I hope to never come across, it is the giant anteater. In this world, there exist two creatures that fill me with emotions I do not understand.…