Tired of all those nights where all you hear is nothing but the white noise of your fan or air filter? Wish you could be lulled to bed by your neighbors’ loud gaming and rage quitting? Well, luckily for you I am on the move to get the university to establish daily loud hours.
These newly implemented loud hours would allow for dorm hall residents to blast music or make any other loud and obnoxious noises in the middle of the night! No more having Resident Hall Assistants bang on your door at 2 a.m. when you are yelling at your computer over Fortnite. Now you can report them for telling you not to be loud!
These new loud hours will be from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m., so there is more time for you to be extra loud in the dorm rooms without anyone being able to tell you to be quieter or more considerate.
Having it be super loud may interrupt other people who may be trying to sleep, but who cares? Now they cannot tell you to turn it down at midnight when you are blasting loud rap music or randomly moving your furniture around.
We should even implement a rule that you get in trouble for being too quiet at night. Anyone who is not either playing loud music or screaming at the top of their lungs will get reported and need to talk to ResLife about being a better team player in the dorm hall community.
I do believe that these new loud hours will help us as a community better express ourselves without the repression of those who think that practicing the guitar at 2 a.m. is “disruptive.” Now we will have rules that will let us be as loud as we want in the late hours of the night without any consequences at all! I hope that our university implements this clearly effective change as soon as possible so we can get back to those loud nights.
The Night Screecher is a sophomore majoring in insomnia.
