As graduation draws near, I’ve naturally begun to reflect on my time here at Drew. And in looking back at the three short years that I’ve been here, I am feeling a whole rush of emotions cloud my thoughts and it seems that my time at Drew has been tied by a common pattern throughout.
As someone who is always five steps ahead in almost every aspect of my life, I’ve found that most of my best (and worst) experiences at this university have often come about in a completely spontaneous manner.
In fact, coming to Drew for college was not part of my original plan at all; I just happened to watch some Timothee Chalamet movie and wound up finding a beautiful campus that checked all my boxes at the time. A few months later, I found myself committing to Drew and flew from across the country to make a new start for myself in a completely different state where I knew absolutely nobody.
And then I found the fencing team—this wonderful, chaotic, drama-filled competitive environment where I met so many new faces over the years and learned so much about myself. As a walk-on, I had no prior intention of being a part of a collegiate sport and wound up doing a weapon that I had never practiced before. But in allowing myself to be part of this team and this sport, I pushed myself to limits I didn’t think I could ever achieve and ended up getting close with teammates that I never thought I would.
Then there was The Acorn. Now, it had always been my dream to be writing for the student newspaper (à la Rory Gilmore) since high school, and when I got pulled into the paper here at Drew I felt like I was doing exactly what I had meant to do even if I didn’t realize how big of a commitment I ended up making at the time. Little did I know that I would be vying for the editor-in-chief spot in my second year and actually end up running The Acorn by my senior year. It felt like a huge undertaking with so much pressure attached to the job but I knew that with the board and writers we had, I would be able to get through it one edition at a time.
On top of all this, I had decided to pursue a major in media and communications (even though I had originally planned on being an English major) along with three minors in film, French and American studies. There were some semesters where I was taking five classes or taking the train to the city twice a week only to run to fencing practice once I made it back to campus. It was a lot, definitely.
But I knew that I couldn’t function any other way. I knew that I’d regret not taking on as much as I could in the short time that I had at Drew. And so although I was stressed out constantly, I also wouldn’t have gone through college any differently.
Plus, I had amazing professors encouraging me to do my best work and challenging me with complex ideas and questions. In fact, I owe my entire honors thesis committee a huge thank you for being the most influential professors I had the pleasure of learning from while attending this university.
Not to mention the friends I had supporting me and holding my hand through every new endeavor, teary breakdown and achievement. Actually, I couldn’t even begin to list them all because I’m finding that I’ve grown my circle so much that it would probably take 1000 more words to express my gratitude for their presence in my life. As an introvert, too, it makes me happy to realize that I finally have the friends that I always wanted in my life, and you all know who you are.
Like I said, though, I didn’t exactly plan for any of these things to happen. As John Lennon once said “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” (and who am I really if I don’t work in a Beatles reference somewhere?). With that said, don’t be afraid to abandon your plans to live out your life!
But I won’t lie, there were definitely times where I struggled during my time here. Whether it was because I had bitten off more than I could chew, was dealing with team drama, or was fighting against the administration here (which my friends at The Acorn know a thing or two about), I absolutely experienced moments where I questioned the purpose of it all. Why not quit the fencing team? Why do an honors thesis if I’m not even going to grad school? Why work so hard if my own university won’t recognize my accomplishments?
And though it took me a while to see through that negative fog in my head, I realized through the words of my friends and my own reflection that the things I did mattered because they were important to me. That the hard work I strove to do mattered because it revealed something about my work ethic and made me happy.
So with that, I implore everyone who also encounters these difficult moments to remember that everything you do during your time in college is important precisely because it matters to you. It shouldn’t matter if the university you attend doesn’t grant you that award you were hoping to receive because you still did the work to earn it no matter what. And even if the whole world is working against you as you try to plan a protest or compete in your chosen sport or work towards your degree, keep fighting because only you will make your aspirations a reality.
Eva Esqueda is a senior majoring in media & communications and is minoring in French, American studies and film studies.
