Class of 2021 sorted into Hogwarts Houses

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by Caitlin Shannon, Student Life & Arts Editor

Drew may be turning 150 years old, but it’s never too late to start a new tradition.  You heard it here first: Drew’s Class of 2021 will be sorted into Hogwarts houses upon their arrival to the Forest in August. No longer will freshman be distinguished by their lanyard hanging around their necks, but by their sweat drenched robes as they navigate the paths in the New Jersey summer heat. Upperclassmen, get ready for magic to take over the forest!

The incoming first years will be sorted into either Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin. Some students may belong in “Gryffindor where dwell the brave at heart. Their daring nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.”  Prez Bae and Prof. Kymm Roads will preside over the Gryffindor’s and lead them to victory in any battle. Other students will be Hufflepuffs “where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, And unafraid of toil.”  The Hufflepuffs will be lead by Prof. Pita Reane and Prof. Scareroni.  Undoubtedly, all Baldwin Honors students will be sorted into Ravenclaw who have “ready mind[s], where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind.” This house will headed by Prof. Rosal Raules and Prof. Runathan José and who will undoubtedly advise countless theses.  Finally, the cleverest first years will be sorted into Slytherin where they’ll make “real friends, those cunning folk use any means, to achieve their ends.” Prof. Aysonjay Ayishopbae and Prof. Ban Vlerkom will lead these neophytes to success.  

Appropriately, the Sorting Ceremony will take place in the Great Hall of the Harry Potter Building, also known (by no one) as S.W. Bowne. Facilities will be tasked with making sure that the room is decked out with floating candles and long tables for the event. They are also looking into the enchantment for the ceiling. The entire campus will be invited, and there will be catered dinner with complimentary butterbeer, chocolate frogs and cornish pasties.

Following the sorting, OC leaders will bring students up to TB circle for the traditional candle lighting ceremony with a new twist. Once the new Drewids have been officially initiated into the college, the students will be given their room assignments according to their houses. Tolley and Brown will house Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, respectively. In order to accommodate for all of our new witches and wizards the top floors of Holloway Hall will be reopened to house new Slytherins. Welch will house Gryffindor.  

It seems like the Class of 2021 is in for a magical experience. Here at the Acron we are excited to see what the future brings. Until then, we leave you with the ultimate advice: Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus.


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