It is almost going to be a full academic year since the dining services have changed providers on campus. But what hasn’t changed is how incredible the new flavored Yella’s milkshake is.
It is a part of the new campaign hosted by the Yella’s franchise after the cult of chicken sandwich lovers took over social media. Every milkshake has a brand new mystery flavor every time. The numerous flavors are boogers, acorn, vampire blood, black pepper, shirley temple, chicken liver, cigarette butts and a few others.
After trying every single one, their flavors continue to get astronomically horrifying. As a certified Karen for the Drew dining service, I can concur that their absolute worst flavor was the acorn flavor.
The milkshake itself is a brown liquid with acorn and pistachio shavings on top of the whipped cream. Its aftertaste is more bitter than the news of Drew’s budget cuts.
The other flavor people have claimed to enjoy was the booger flavor. “For a flavor so disgusting sounding, the taste is almost similar to the shamrock shake,” said Franklin Jennings.
The only upside to the new campaign mystery flavor is how Hilary Link is signing her autograph to the first 100 people who buy the mystery shakes and doing so with her eyes closed.
The students are furious about the cigarette butt flavor given that the campus is supposed to be smoke-free.
“It’s not cool guys! We should not have a cigarette butt flavor milkshake. GRRRRRRR how are they getting cigarette butts when there’s no smoking on campus?!” screamed Miley Celestial outside the Ehinger Center Parking Lot. Drew students are outraged over the situation! They have started protests outside of the Ehinger Center dining hall as a way to retaliate over the new campaign. The students of Drew also metaphorically ran to YikYak to post numerous memes and rants about the campaign anonymously. Posting online as a way to protest the terrible tasting of Yella’s and continuing to camp outside the Ehinger Center dining hall seems to be the only resolution as of now.
@dalorona is a junior majoring in English literature with a minor in classical studies.